Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Arise!
How do we transcend the subject/object duality and understand how much more we need to extend the field of subjectivity. Not so far as objectivity but further than we'll know. I think people get bored with God because we have no way of truly knowing him. Also, people feel that all we really need to know about him is laid out for us. No one wants to fill in the details because they feel their opinion is completely arbitrary and lacking any sense of validity or verify-ability. People don't want to think for themselves because it's a lot of work and they don't know how rewarding it is. Big Brother wants you to believe that thinking for yourself will hurt you. Combining all knowledge together and saying that ignorance is bliss is ignorance. The idea that you can know and judge all forms of knowledge is ridiculous, but if it hurts it hurts. Just know that if all knowledge could be categorized, our brains wouldn't have much ordering to do, and would then lose a great amount of ambition and drive to understand.
Sun Position
Whoever put me here wasn't very creative. I like to visit here from time to time, but I can't stay very long. People look at me and I just stare, sometimes its hard to imagine what people see in me so I do nothing at all so as to keep what's close a mystery. This can have its advantages: if no one sees you they can make up whatever they like about you and then fear the day they meet the real you. But I stick around, and although I'm never still, I'm always over your shoulder and my energy persists. To you, I'm only around half the time, busy with myself. When you tell me this I reply that if I could change I would, but things were like this long before you were born. It's amazing, you're more personal with me than anyone else, and yet I don't treat you like you're special. I don't know how I could treat anyone special being as I do my best for everyone, day-in, day-out. In me you see your finer senses tingle. In me you know you'll get hurt if you get too close. Whatever you did to acknowledge my existence made it harder for you to do over time. In fact, someone caught you speaking to me and had you put in the looney bin, where there are no windows and you can no longer see me. What do I care? I have millions of lovers. This conversation isn't even taking place, because I'm the freaking sun! I had you put in here in the first place, so how lousy I really am?
Starlight
Is there anybody out there?
Once we have lost control we lose certainty. One may go so far and say the only things that exist are here. A younger me, or anyone who would put others down for their short-sightedness which is actually just knowledge regarding what we can or can't do and acting on it morally or not. We see inside and out, which "only goes to show" that our minds operate one way but may see most things provided they have been "hanging 'round" during the extraordinarily long years of godly evolution. Lets take one to see what we see. Gravity as as stable and ancient as anything humans have interacted with or even received information about. We can feel and we can see, and by drawing a distinction we can learn. "Back to reality whoops there goes gravity." Gravity had been around and we knew it well enough to be able to sustain ourselves within its laws. It surprises me that the laws that govern our universe are stable enough that the Tower of Babel didn't fall due to natural circumstance. But I suppose we haven't been around for long, but still, what keeps us safe from external predators? Why was Issac Newton's apple light enough, or, for that matter, gravity weak enough that it should not knock Newton out? Why isn't the sky falling in? Why aren't anvils falling from the sky? I suppose hail is exception to the rule, but it sure seems like the only exception...Maybe all the best ideas are copy cats. No, not in terms of how they analyzed a problem, but the information they had and the subject matter at hand. If you can figure out that gravity is caused by objects bending the space around them, you really don't change the way we use gravity. Is it all a way of validating your findings, but what good is this knowledge? Maybe all the best ideas are strangely inhuman. The laws of the universe control us to the degree that they are tuned to. So, "turn on, tune in, and drop out." This is actually written like an idea, with its similar subject being the brain and its different perspectives put in threes. There are three lyrics to songs implanted in this posting to give my thoughts a sense of momentary pointedness, only to return to the unknown, its nature represented through the swiss cheesed questions which mount one on top of the other like the Tower of Babel. Some say the best ideas lead to more questions than answers but that says nothing about the specificity of the ideas themselves. Thoughts and ground-breaking theories come unexpectedly, they leap out of no where and seem so clear when they reach the surface. When we wonder where that idea came from, we know that sometimes thinking is done best when you are blind-folded. What is most important is the feeling of yearning for an answer to your question and maintaining the hope you have for coming up with an idea that surprises you and is new to you. it is impossible to say the most important part of thinking because of the inter-dependance of each act of thinking. The reason we go through the process is because it is ingrained in us, and in those moments of doubt where you can't hang on to anything, you can at least tell yourself that this is where I was when I was perpetually on the brink of discovering something, anything, that was seen at that point to be a personal achievement of greatness. If you let your mind roam free, it will always return to itself, attracted by a rare opportunity to look over itself and see the same things in a different light. We know that there will always be something to learn, but one now wonders where we are.
Once we have lost control we lose certainty. One may go so far and say the only things that exist are here. A younger me, or anyone who would put others down for their short-sightedness which is actually just knowledge regarding what we can or can't do and acting on it morally or not. We see inside and out, which "only goes to show" that our minds operate one way but may see most things provided they have been "hanging 'round" during the extraordinarily long years of godly evolution. Lets take one to see what we see. Gravity as as stable and ancient as anything humans have interacted with or even received information about. We can feel and we can see, and by drawing a distinction we can learn. "Back to reality whoops there goes gravity." Gravity had been around and we knew it well enough to be able to sustain ourselves within its laws. It surprises me that the laws that govern our universe are stable enough that the Tower of Babel didn't fall due to natural circumstance. But I suppose we haven't been around for long, but still, what keeps us safe from external predators? Why was Issac Newton's apple light enough, or, for that matter, gravity weak enough that it should not knock Newton out? Why isn't the sky falling in? Why aren't anvils falling from the sky? I suppose hail is exception to the rule, but it sure seems like the only exception...Maybe all the best ideas are copy cats. No, not in terms of how they analyzed a problem, but the information they had and the subject matter at hand. If you can figure out that gravity is caused by objects bending the space around them, you really don't change the way we use gravity. Is it all a way of validating your findings, but what good is this knowledge? Maybe all the best ideas are strangely inhuman. The laws of the universe control us to the degree that they are tuned to. So, "turn on, tune in, and drop out." This is actually written like an idea, with its similar subject being the brain and its different perspectives put in threes. There are three lyrics to songs implanted in this posting to give my thoughts a sense of momentary pointedness, only to return to the unknown, its nature represented through the swiss cheesed questions which mount one on top of the other like the Tower of Babel. Some say the best ideas lead to more questions than answers but that says nothing about the specificity of the ideas themselves. Thoughts and ground-breaking theories come unexpectedly, they leap out of no where and seem so clear when they reach the surface. When we wonder where that idea came from, we know that sometimes thinking is done best when you are blind-folded. What is most important is the feeling of yearning for an answer to your question and maintaining the hope you have for coming up with an idea that surprises you and is new to you. it is impossible to say the most important part of thinking because of the inter-dependance of each act of thinking. The reason we go through the process is because it is ingrained in us, and in those moments of doubt where you can't hang on to anything, you can at least tell yourself that this is where I was when I was perpetually on the brink of discovering something, anything, that was seen at that point to be a personal achievement of greatness. If you let your mind roam free, it will always return to itself, attracted by a rare opportunity to look over itself and see the same things in a different light. We know that there will always be something to learn, but one now wonders where we are.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Found This On Dad's Computer
Found my college application's personal statement essay, feel free to read it. Written in late 2004.
The Infinitesimal.
Without hesitation, I will say that reflection upon its impact, significance, and implications has been the most important factor in my life attitude. It has always seemed to me to be such an overriding factor and undeniable truth that I could not help but think of. This, compounded with what I perceive as a complete either psychological denial of this truth or insufficient ability to comprehend the magnitude of the subject on the part of my fellow man led to a period of slowly compounding angst and discontentment with life that only has lifted from my shoulders in relatively recent times.
Flashback to my creation. I was two single cells (depending on one’s definition of consciousness), with little or no awareness. Ten earth orbits later, my brain had processed stimuli in such a way that I began resenting the biological reality that is existence. I suppose, looking back, it was my perfectionism coupled with my sudden realization that the theory of evolution and our limited biological nature guaranteed that humankind is stuck doomed to a stagnant state of unknowing that was a shock to me. However, it was not only these thoughts that caused such a stir, it was time’s relation with biology and infinity that played a more profound role in shaping my psychology at that point. This relationship, in Eastern thought, is that reality is an illusion. Therefore, everything will eventually fall apart and stop existing. In the end, everyone will be forgotten, and there is nothing to prevent it.
It was for these reasons that I became a staunch atheist in fourth grade, as I saw religion as the mass denial of the former truths. By 10th grade, not much else had been added to this list. But from 15 and 16 I found more reasons to be angry. My most profoundly impacting conviction was that our world was extraordinarily fake. Looking back at my journal at the time, I see plans for a movie scene. A man walks down a hall with false realities surrounding him in the rooms beside him, and all he can do is walk indecisively, futilely, and persistently. What caused these thoughts was extreme discontent with the societal pressures that surrounded society. “We are but pawns in a game of life structured on our fear of being different,” reads more of my journal. There was a seemingly insurmountable façade that loomed over my life, and it was unbearable.
Finally, one more idea that threw me into my lethargic, apathetic state: the meaninglessness of life. Humanity’s pursuits are so diverse that there seems to be nothing we can point to as a Reason. One thing remains constant: there are no Absolutes; ergo, no Absolute meaning. If man is unconscious of a purpose in life, and there is no higher power, why exist? Atmospheric pressure was rising with philosophic nature, idealism, and perfectionism, and it seemed like the ceiling was quite near.
In times of reflection on our infinite reality, I would often imagine everyone’s ego as points in an infinitely vast space as small balls of light, breathing and observing. Naturally, some would darken, and be replaced, and I sped up this process in my mind. Before, when I thought about my own eventual extinguishment, I would stop my imagination at what was psychologically unacceptable. Eventually, I realized I just had to accept it. I released my ego. When my life starts to be sucked from my soul, I will be okay… I AM OKAY, I thought. And then relief came. I was free, I felt sweet freedom.
So where do I go from here? After accepting insignificance to the point of losing so-called ego, one must start making decisions. So much is changed. Let us focus on three things for brevity: intellectual growth, morality, and the constant human struggle for freedom.
I consider wisdom, the expansion of my knowledge, and the intricacies of the mind essential to life. The responsibility of always being engaged falls squarely on my shoulders and though social life is fascinating, learning about things that compel me and making my mind as active and complex as possible makes living worth the trip. If anything, it is this complexity that is the most important in the history of man. Somehow, beings with consciousness and free will have arisen from a strictly governed universe of matter is amazing, and we must appreciate it. The earth is incredible because of its fertility. It is a hotbed of growth, and a mind becomes great the same way: through cultivation and growth. Intellectual prowess is free will, which is the only tool we have to better the world.
Morality is a socially and evolutionary constructed concept, and when we accept it, we must define it. I chose altruism. Considering my selflessness, this is a major factor in my morality. Unquestionably, there are things greater than the individual. We can only passionately promote knowledge.
If one sees existence as dictated by various forces, one is seeing the truth. However, if obstacles are concentrated on, they become not only psychologically taller, but the time one puts forth to break them down is lessened, exacerbating the problem. I am not in a state of denial of these truths, but I do choose to concentrate on defeating these evils rather than seeing them as unbeatable. One must accept that absolute freedom is unattainable, but we can sure do our best to lead ourselves and others in the right direction. Existence is a forever long, slow struggle in the right direction, and I intend to put forth all my effort to move that way.
The Infinitesimal.
Without hesitation, I will say that reflection upon its impact, significance, and implications has been the most important factor in my life attitude. It has always seemed to me to be such an overriding factor and undeniable truth that I could not help but think of. This, compounded with what I perceive as a complete either psychological denial of this truth or insufficient ability to comprehend the magnitude of the subject on the part of my fellow man led to a period of slowly compounding angst and discontentment with life that only has lifted from my shoulders in relatively recent times.
Flashback to my creation. I was two single cells (depending on one’s definition of consciousness), with little or no awareness. Ten earth orbits later, my brain had processed stimuli in such a way that I began resenting the biological reality that is existence. I suppose, looking back, it was my perfectionism coupled with my sudden realization that the theory of evolution and our limited biological nature guaranteed that humankind is stuck doomed to a stagnant state of unknowing that was a shock to me. However, it was not only these thoughts that caused such a stir, it was time’s relation with biology and infinity that played a more profound role in shaping my psychology at that point. This relationship, in Eastern thought, is that reality is an illusion. Therefore, everything will eventually fall apart and stop existing. In the end, everyone will be forgotten, and there is nothing to prevent it.
It was for these reasons that I became a staunch atheist in fourth grade, as I saw religion as the mass denial of the former truths. By 10th grade, not much else had been added to this list. But from 15 and 16 I found more reasons to be angry. My most profoundly impacting conviction was that our world was extraordinarily fake. Looking back at my journal at the time, I see plans for a movie scene. A man walks down a hall with false realities surrounding him in the rooms beside him, and all he can do is walk indecisively, futilely, and persistently. What caused these thoughts was extreme discontent with the societal pressures that surrounded society. “We are but pawns in a game of life structured on our fear of being different,” reads more of my journal. There was a seemingly insurmountable façade that loomed over my life, and it was unbearable.
Finally, one more idea that threw me into my lethargic, apathetic state: the meaninglessness of life. Humanity’s pursuits are so diverse that there seems to be nothing we can point to as a Reason. One thing remains constant: there are no Absolutes; ergo, no Absolute meaning. If man is unconscious of a purpose in life, and there is no higher power, why exist? Atmospheric pressure was rising with philosophic nature, idealism, and perfectionism, and it seemed like the ceiling was quite near.
In times of reflection on our infinite reality, I would often imagine everyone’s ego as points in an infinitely vast space as small balls of light, breathing and observing. Naturally, some would darken, and be replaced, and I sped up this process in my mind. Before, when I thought about my own eventual extinguishment, I would stop my imagination at what was psychologically unacceptable. Eventually, I realized I just had to accept it. I released my ego. When my life starts to be sucked from my soul, I will be okay… I AM OKAY, I thought. And then relief came. I was free, I felt sweet freedom.
So where do I go from here? After accepting insignificance to the point of losing so-called ego, one must start making decisions. So much is changed. Let us focus on three things for brevity: intellectual growth, morality, and the constant human struggle for freedom.
I consider wisdom, the expansion of my knowledge, and the intricacies of the mind essential to life. The responsibility of always being engaged falls squarely on my shoulders and though social life is fascinating, learning about things that compel me and making my mind as active and complex as possible makes living worth the trip. If anything, it is this complexity that is the most important in the history of man. Somehow, beings with consciousness and free will have arisen from a strictly governed universe of matter is amazing, and we must appreciate it. The earth is incredible because of its fertility. It is a hotbed of growth, and a mind becomes great the same way: through cultivation and growth. Intellectual prowess is free will, which is the only tool we have to better the world.
Morality is a socially and evolutionary constructed concept, and when we accept it, we must define it. I chose altruism. Considering my selflessness, this is a major factor in my morality. Unquestionably, there are things greater than the individual. We can only passionately promote knowledge.
If one sees existence as dictated by various forces, one is seeing the truth. However, if obstacles are concentrated on, they become not only psychologically taller, but the time one puts forth to break them down is lessened, exacerbating the problem. I am not in a state of denial of these truths, but I do choose to concentrate on defeating these evils rather than seeing them as unbeatable. One must accept that absolute freedom is unattainable, but we can sure do our best to lead ourselves and others in the right direction. Existence is a forever long, slow struggle in the right direction, and I intend to put forth all my effort to move that way.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Jokes
Just some jokes its a new format, not a career....
FLASH FORWARD
"Why are you so defensive, Alex?"
FLASH BACKWARDS
"What would you like?"
"How many grape soda's do you have?"
"Six."
"Okay, I'll have six grape sodas, please."
"Are you sure, son, you don't want to leave some for the others?"
"Yes, they know who to come to if they want some. Where's the regular Friday cashier? She gives it to me without sass, and if you refuse well then I might not buy grape soda from you any more."
"I'm new here and I already know that that's a lie, son."
"What are you talking about? No, I mean, which lie are you talking about because they're all lies."
As you can see, when I was young I was not only a shrewd customer but also assertive, passionate (for grape soda), monetarily opportunistic (if you don't know what that is just think about supply and demand), and a voice of the people. Incidentally, those are the four essential qualities of my soul which I posted on my match.com profile. Don't ask any questions, I told you that already!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Herman Hesse
(Written in song form in case I make a song with these words. However, I think that the structure adds to the effectiveness and message of the poem. This is because the repetition emphasizes the shifting perspective of the lyrics.)
You wrote my life's story for me
Never got the chance to thank me
Never thought to thank yourself
We watched the pitiful beggars
We replaced them with ourselves
Everyone around us turned away
Can't live where awareness is waning
Lies are segregation and perpetuation
Break the cycle
Advance into our quiet independence
We need a New Order
Agreeable and Accessible
Truth is found where no one else goes
I will find you in the deepest meditation
Everyone around us turned away
Can't live where awareness is waning
Resistance leads your effortless abandon
"Numbness will take you over one day"
"Lies push me away"
Objects are obstacles
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Desire and Lacking in Humans and God
Bear with me on this one. I like it and think it's worth my time and worth posting. The interesting thing about this entry is that it is heavily influenced by Lacanian psychoanalysis which I have been reading again the last few days. (All the stuff relating to desire, lacking, and subjectivity.) The first part is pretty sketchy but I try to make some good points. If you get bored of the first part scroll down to the numbered points and read from there.
The reason human beings can complete every single simple task in our lives is because evolutionarily we respond to certain needs. Acts such as moving the Christmas tree out to the trash or opening a door are made possible by the foundation of creation and capabilities. We create things to use, and even though a dog may be stronger and faster, he cannot use technology which may someday negate his evolutionary advantage. His hard-earned speed and strength come from a history which is being made into a forgotten prehistory. Whereas environment has created him, human ingenuity is now creating us. Cars are operable because you use your hands and feet to control the vehicle. However, the adherence of all drivers to a moral code controlling each and every one of us is the distinctly human creation which keeps streets safe. There are two types of control here, and if we put ourselves into the minds of dogs we may gain something. For the, cars are pure enjoyment. All the movements of the car seem to them to be completely arbitrary and different. A dog's favorite thing to do is put his head out of the window, where it is not the visual clarity provided by the movement but the experience of the air pushing into his face. He longs for the "new" which creates a state of static euphoria. This is reserved for the specific experience of having his head out of the window. When called he pulls his head out from the window and I close it.
"What is the point of all this rambling?"
Well, thematically this is about the difference between human and animal consciousness, where humans can be faulty, and what we may learn from the animals.
If we take the example of, say, the Garden of Eden we may be able to say something about man's relationship with God. In Genesis, God is seen as an all-powerful creator who made man apart from the rest on a day dedicated to man. (Sunday being apart as well...for God...or God created it for himself.) God's power is namely as a Creator, and, just like humans, is not in control of the actions chosen by his children. In our modern American society, our creations (technology) are growing faster and faster leading to less and less control. The standard of living may be seen as the main ideology which contributes to the ideal of endless growth. It has been proven in psychological studies the rich people are more often depressed than the meek and humble. The myth of material objects is Nietzschean in its characterization: humans create needs such as God. We seem to think that we can know things which are created out of need. There is a fundamental lacking present in this line of thinking. Need is extremely shifty and thousand-faced which is why it never amounts to a conclusion. Maybe we can feel like God in the one-sidedness of the nature of creation. Here is the central point: we can only really know God through his flaws and imperfections. The authors of the Bible have identified the flaws in themselves as imperfections in Nature, which was that inability of God to know everything. (This may be the reason why God "doesn't care about you because he controls everything.") God's most important and perfect act is flawed, so how can we believe we are on the right track?
"But what does this say about the nature of creation?"
1) How fast is creation?
2) Does it know itself?
3) Is it inspired by something greater than oneself?
4) How does one become creative or is one made creative?
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Heading for stream-of-consciousness
Below are three thought patters a page long each. I wrote them in a 2 hour sitting at the library which is unusual for me. I hope you enjoy this I'd love feedback.
I compliment myself more than anyone
I compliment myself more than anyone
A) I compliment myself more than (I compliment) anyone (else).
B) I compliment myself more than anyone (compliments me).
C) I compliment myself more than anyone (compliments themselves).
The greatest part is never seen
This is mostly my fault
It would just be too weird and too different
A little rearranging can go a long way.
It's actually quite obvious and juvenile
As soon as I show you the deceptive nature of
Language and Habit
That the multifaceted is nothing more than a few steps & reflections away
It arises out of the language to become
Subjectivity and grammatical subjects
We learned those in Elementary school
But it never has been more clear to me than now
But why do I compliment myself more than anyone?
I could just tell all my friends everything
But even that wouldn't be enough, would it?
Are you your own best critic or reader
Probably so in terms of the significance of it all
But your unconscious remains a mystery to yourself
But why, again?
Am I under ever-under-appreciated
I think that personal gratification and fulfillment
Come in the moment of surprise
When you realize something unknown
And you think to yourself
And you know
And you feel
Your unique nature on display
My Fingers Are Slowly Changing Into Pens
If the pen is a weapon why isn't it lethal?
Who can be reached with such ideas?
How does an understanding develop?
These days there is so much going on
People can pick and choose anything that fits or suits them.
What world am I from?
How about a place where people try to see everyone and everything?
Sure, that's nice.
There is no understanding that is not new.
The subconscious is said to be impossible to be experienced
But isn't there some way to prepare it before it does what it does?
Isn't thee a way to see, if not experience, the thing that houses us?
How do you know that you have a deep thought?
There is always an unknown which accompanies something original.
The best way to experience the unconscious (or anything?)
Is to see it as it really is.
How do we touch the unconscious without feeling it?
How do things that lack consciousness have such power?
I suppose this is what causes certain feelings like
Magic; Wonder; Powerlessness; Disjointedness; Inadequacy
Gosh I hope I'm right about this
A pen is a weapon
Might be changed
A pen is a form of expression we can use to explain the range of feelings we possess
Which means that a pen is an instrument
A pen can be almost anything you know
So don't be surprised if it makes you empowered
We only call it a weapon because it's far enough away from our ordinary experience of it
Don't underestimate the potential of the pen
It will stay static and yet evolve with us/use
A pen is a sooth-sayer which reveals our strengths and inadequacies.
Strength (is earned)/Defiance (is reliant)/Knowledge (is power)
I know exactly who I used to be
I've got my goody's hood on
As if I'm shut off to the world
As if I can't be who you want me to be
As if I can't be bothered
I will return insight and live like it's everything to me
Where most spit cliche and social enforcement
I will robe the way I always do
My home is advanced and thought-out
For others, it's the way it is
For others they live in a home they've been in all along
Nothing Changes
What is the value of honesty?
It is so easy to lose yourself
In arrogance over others
When will you know it?
Arrogance is a by-product of a deeper will to understand
Arrogance is that pesky trap
Where you return to what you have left
If you sent a message from the other side
Would it be eye-opening?
Would you be the subject?
Even, what got us here?
I don't think habit is near reality
I don't think I share this with many others:
Who we are has nothing to do with what we want
The wants are enforced by people who have never known
The joy of an honest existence
They are so heart-broken that they don't even know it
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Reading Letter From The Most Neglected One I Know
Having thought out all the possibilities I turned to write a letter explaining in detail everything that might happen and everything that passes across the bottleneck called my brain.
And when I finished this most personal of letters.
This most deep part of the blandness that is my life.
I was met with confusion and fear to the point that it slowly leaked out being drawn out by the need for someone to understand and explain this letter other than themselves.
My mom showed me a letter from her friend friend which prompted this.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Idea Page
Whatever is holding me down
Velvet underground
Fate is static
Large curly hair like Issac Newton or any famous person then
No one thinks about it
No one feels it
Few have even heard it
What holds me up?
What's always following me closely?
I liked me a lot a lot more looking back on it then
Loving everyone more than anyone but not enough
Seemed as easy as pie, seemed as clear as anything
I guess I just don't know
Better play it safe
Where can a man not be free?
Head up high
Price of freedom
When did I know the bottomless pit
And
How could I have forgotten
I really want to crawl into bed now
Saturday, November 22, 2008
About How We Must Remain Mysteries To Ourselves
I was watching this youtube video with Derrida in it called the problems of deconstruction. Seems like a shitty title considering what was said had more to do with his brains functioning than it had to do so-called deconstruction (whatever that means). My language her might seem philistine, but I'm trying to spite the French bastard.
At times I feel like I've done something wrong in my writing. When I'm falling asleep sometimes I will get the childish feeling that I am naked in front of a group of people. This fills me with the feeling that I should stop everything at once and burn my papers. But when I wake I no longer feel that way. I feel like writing is something that must be done regardless of the way I feel at a certain time. Since the self-doubt is weaker, I let my behavior win out and I continue to write. This is a quote from Jacques Derrida on his own work: Imagine a child who does something horrible... and is haunted by dreams of being naked in front of a crowd. In any case, in this half sleep before I fall completely asleep I have the impression that I've done something criminal or disgraceful and I shouldn't have done it. Someone is telling me "But you're mad to have done that." And this is something I truly believe in my half sleep. The implied command in this is "Stop everything! Take it back! Burn your papers!" But once I wake up, it's over. What this means or how I interpret this is that when I'm awake, conscious, working, in a certain way I am more unconscious than in my half sleep. When I'm in that half sleep there's a kind of vigilance (pathology) that tells me the truth. First of all, it tells me that what I'm doing is very serious. But when I'm awake and working this vigilance is actually asleep. It's not the stronger one of the two. And so I do what must be done.
I feel I knew this feeling, this feeling of ignoring the truth so that my current behavior can continue on. The feeling that this is the way things are meant to be (outside of my mind). I knew what it meant to have one feeling win out, but the question is what is going on at that point in time. People who seek truth out of every crevasse would wonder about such things as well. What is inside us that decides whether something should be changed or something is too important to be replaced? I hope that by pairing Derrida's statement with one by Friedrich Nietzsche I can start to answer profound questions like that.
"So we remain necessarily strangers to ourselves, we do not understand ourselves, we have to keep ourselves confused. For us this law holds for all eternity: "Each man is furthest from himself." Where we ourselves are concerned, we are not "knowledgeable people.""
One thing someone not familiar with Nietzsche might miss in this passage is his idea that in order to have a self one must necessarily be somewhat unaware of it. He would argue that the self is created without our needing to be aware of it. So what is it that keeps thing hidden? What is it that perpetually rips seekers of truth from their path and allows them to continue to live based on previous behavior? More importantly or nobly what is it that gets us to get out there and change who we are?
Personally speaking my need for experiences which gratify my desire for what is new and foreign and somehow liberating. I yearn to be immersed in an experience which will teach me something, anything new. That is why life is so great. This may be the reason Nietzsche says there is a certain mystery to existence and Derrida blatantly ignores certain states of mind.
Derrida appears to accept the idea that whatever is happening at the present moment in his consciousness should be followed and believed. That is how the moment of his dream of childish embarrassment sticks out like a sore thumb and what he calls the seriousness of his act of writing is so violently convincing. One might guess that if Derrida's perception of reality were constantly changing he would be unable to figure out which was the right one for him to feel. A reality of extremes in a reality of now. A reality which is impossible to fit together, each moment isolated from
Derrida's "problem" (to tie it back in) is that he has doubts as to the essential value of his work. He has two opposing mind-states battling for control over (in this case) the act of writing. The problem is that he does not think twice about it, he simply accepts the consciousness he's been given. The fact of the matter is that regarding the act of writing, Derrida has not thought about it. The act of writing, for him, is one which needs no second guessing. Where is this blindness, and why is living easy with eyes closed? Why is creation easy with eyes closed? How can creation be so easy? (I think really creative people live in that space, and that they don't thing too highly of themselves because they know how easy it can be).
Sea of signifiers ----->endless amount of words for derrida to play with-----> never being bored
Monday, August 11, 2008
FRAGMENTS
Aristotle-->Socrates-->Plato
are we to accept this as reality?
Can anything be created without a blueprint? Or, What are the rules of creation?
This is just my mind:
Relentless/Indefatigable
Fuzzy/Furry
Rabbit/Horse
Love/All there is
However/Whenever
(under the rule)
The probe made me realize that telling yourself something will not get the remainder
My comfort level is knowing that my mind is nothing without me
Light being the most fundamental "part" of the universe tells us that something never change
Lonliness bites hard. It comes with something else and crushes you in an instant. Do i want to know where you are? All the nights I spent summarizing anything and everything I could possibly think of were only possible because I felt like I had something I could give to people. What good is random knowledge? What does it say about those who possess it? When my mind clicks it is because its trying to solidify itself.
--------------------->
------------------->
-------------->
-------->
------->
----->
When my mind clicks it is because its trying to solidify itself.
What does that look like?
are we to accept this as reality?
Can anything be created without a blueprint? Or, What are the rules of creation?
This is just my mind:
Relentless/Indefatigable
Fuzzy/Furry
Rabbit/Horse
Love/All there is
However/Whenever
(under the rule)
The probe made me realize that telling yourself something will not get the remainder
My comfort level is knowing that my mind is nothing without me
Light being the most fundamental "part" of the universe tells us that something never change
Lonliness bites hard. It comes with something else and crushes you in an instant. Do i want to know where you are? All the nights I spent summarizing anything and everything I could possibly think of were only possible because I felt like I had something I could give to people. What good is random knowledge? What does it say about those who possess it? When my mind clicks it is because its trying to solidify itself.
--------------------->
------------------->
-------------->
-------->
------->
----->
When my mind clicks it is because its trying to solidify itself.
What does that look like?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Colored Squares
I started making an image which was like the one you see here, in that it was simply colored rectangles arranged in a seemingly random way. Do you ever get the feeling that you have to constantly remind yourself of what you're thinking when you think? Anyways, the original image which the one before you is based off of looked to me to be strikingly similar to a Grand Theft Auto mini-map. The black square in the middle had more space around it, giving it a plaza-esque feeling. There was also less repetition in the first image, which was lost because my really crappy program (Pixen) froze up. The L-shaped figures in this image only occur once in the original, according to my memory. I tried to make the image of the sun in the upper left, but I couldn't figure out how. If you don't think this image looks like a GTA mini-map then that's because I didn't try to make the second (or first for that matter) look like one. The goal of the second one was to maintain the sense of randomness inherent in an image that has no real artistic appeal (given that its just colored rectangles) while hoping that it be a faithful recreation of the first one. Randomness really does change things, making almost impossible to repeat any artistic creation. Is it a time and a person and an environment? Actually it's more than just that, I admire certain artists who can use the unpredictable aspects of creation for their advantage.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Sunday Morning Sermon
"Anyone who prays gets a least something in return. There is no such thing as an inconsequential prayer. This is why you must be careful what your wish for! Imagine a world where people asked for impossible things just to test the power of God! Where any gift was simply a measurement of power! Where God was blamed for all the bad, and the good was always followed by, "That's it?" My friends, this world is our world!"
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Recovering Addicts Go To Disneyland
"You's a penguin looking motherfucker." -Dr. Dre
†In the holy year of our Lord 2007, I took a trip to the holiest of holy sites, Disneyland, in Anaheim, California, home of the Mighty Ducks, Angels (in the outfield), and everything Disney or on social security, with a group of addicted associates from the prestigious Morningside Recovery. Our original purpose of spreading the message of sobriety to middle-class families on vacation was lost in favor of experiencing everything Disneyland had to offer. The ones who need the message the most are the ones who won't listen, who needs them anyway, according to A.A. anyway.†
I knew things were going south on the ride to Disneyland when I told everyone, like my uncle had told me years before, we would be close as soon as we saw the famed Matterhorn Mountain eminently displaying its snowy plastic peak. The smallest mountain in the world can be seen for miles and miles in Orange County, vaguely suggesting to those nearby that Disneyland could really be anywhere, and that to live next to Disneyland is like winning the lottery. This time, however, there was no mountainous indicator, and as my eyes evolved from fixation on the mountain to now watching street signs I should have realized that this return to Disneyland would be no such re-experience of my youth: it would be filled with an abundance of referential indicators without substance: constantly nagging me to take part is their purpose, but they know not what they do.
Instead of saying "are we there yet?" over and over addicts say, "I need a fucking cigarette so fucking badly." Therefore, upon parking, the entire van proceeds to light up, cursing and smoking and wondering what was in store for the day. Going down the line of parked cars, one could see that everyone who was not us was a family with a small child. Mini-van, Hybrid, Suburban, 15-seat Dodge van with tinted windows, Suburban, Hybrid, Mini-van. Someone had an astrological lighter which happened to be my sign, and since there is always an abundance of lighters, I got my own personalized Cancer lighter from the Time Being. Words become forbidden and then we feel old when we can use them whenever we want.
"Everyone remember where we parked!" says the jolly-faced overweight counselor who blasted the Rolling Stones all the way to the park. One time I found her birth control pills lying indiscriminately in her car and asked her if I could have some of her gum.
"Oh, I never forget those things, Grace," I said, hoping that the sincerity of my voice would relieve her of having to remember that this was Timon's parking lot, judging by the horribly dusty signs that were probably a result of the recent fires. It was true, wherever my family goes I am always responsible for knowing where we parked. In this case, the recovering addicts probably needed someone to remember for them, but none of them would necessarily trust me because my skills had not been demonstrated yet. Who wants to wander around aimlessly trying to find the car at the end of the day? Not me! Everyone wants to leave when its time to leave.
Trying to plan your trip to Disneyland can be a disaster because everyone's wants change so quickly that insistence on an efficient and effective plan can make you seem like a power-mongering tour guide. Addicts are really good at pushing the boundaries of what they're given, but it must be done intuitively, because planning is not our forte. Upon entering the park there are shops galore, with Disney characters walking around and allowing kids to take pictures of them. There were never any illusions that these characters were real in my young mind, and I always hated to think that the person under the suit was some guy working for minimum wage. You could never tell, but if I had the chance of ripping off his fake head and exposing it to everyone, I probably would have, and then ended up regretting it because there was probably some kid who really thought they were real. They can't kick you out for that can you? Do they reserve the right to refuse service to anyone? I probably would have ripped his head off and started running, and if someone tried to stop me, I would have put the head on myself to see if he knew the difference.
In this world of Disneyland 2007, everything is smaller, people walk slower, and rides are fun for their aesthetics, not their excitement value. Besides, scary rides are dangerous...ly liable.
Not many people know this, but Saint Peter actually became a Saint through his security work with Noah on his Ark. His first order of business was to contract Santa Claus to make the list of all the animals who would go on the Ark. In front of Space Mountain they have the same thing set up, except St. Peter is a paid grunt employee of Disneyland, Santa Claus gets fired because if you're even in the park you're a paying customer, and Noah, upon building his Ark, quit because no one steers an Ark that is aimlessly floating around, waiting for the flood to go away, or for that matter, a computerized roller coaster which runs on a track. Besides, he has other Arks and roller coasters to build. Still, the people waiting in line are actually animals, that much is true, and most of them are penguins, that much is very true.
When you've been around me for a long enough time, you learn to let me alone when I start digressive, random conversations with random people. In this case, when I had the extreme pleasure of asking Saint Peter about the background score for this wonderful attraction, my addict associates knew they did not care from the time I walked up to him, and quickly ran in line so the wait would not be as long.
"I heard a rumor, that Red Hot Chili Peppers did the score for this attraction?"
"Oh, that was last year, we went back to the original Space Mountain theme music."
I wanted to ask him who made that decision, but as I knew that would only expose his sense of powerlessness to himself, I decided against that. If you do not ask, you will not be told.
People walk much slower than usual when they know they're about to be waiting in line for an hour, that is when you can see their most animal nature. Penguins is really the only way to describe it: shifting their weight left and right rhythmically in what is called waddling in the animal kingdom.
"There's someone behind you," says the person who has turned around to talk to his group face to face.
"Hi, thank you," I say, appreciative not of the fact that they're letting me ahead, but of the fact that they're not explaining why I have a right to such things.
Just like I stare at the characters and wonder who is inside the costume, I look at people's shirts and wonder why they wear such shirts. One time I saw a kid at Borders who was wearing this shirt Thom Yorke was wearing and I asked him where he got it, it was such a cool shirt. It said, "No Star Wars," and clearly was attuned to the absolutely disgraceful display that is the Star Wars Trilogy. Those movies may have great special effects and an army of nerd core rappers behind them, but show me one instance when watching Star Wars when you think to yourself: this really pertains to my life: that Darth Vader character is really like my step-father who tries really hard to replace my real dad.
After about a half an hour of waiting, we enter the control room and on the main screen is a camera shot spinning in space with stars becoming more dizzying than clear. The mood is actually not that of a space station anymore, it is distinctly the space mountain control room, but my associates have not seen such things before and are looking at me very expectantly. I say, "if you take really tiny baby steps the line will go faster because you will always be moving forward," and instead of taking my lead I have to demonstrate for them. When it becomes clear that the line is moving really fast for short periods of time and then stopping, my associates start talking.
"Alex, you're holding up the line!"
"Oh, Blair, it really only appears that way, these people will have to wait all the same."
"The people behind you don't complain to you only because they don't know you."
"Oh, Blair, how can we know that? Think about how happy the people in the back of the line will be when for no apparent reason the line jumps significantly as soon as I get on the rocket."
This, "rocket," a name I had found out only due to dreadful circumstances, had a safety bar which clamped down in intervals, and I happened to be of the body width which fell directly in the middle of the intervals. I chose the looser option. As we leave the docking bay, the ride stops. The controller sitting at her computer turns on the microphone and announces over the loudspeaker that there is a problem with the ride. The entire time we are stuck I am watching a party slowly develop in the control room.
The party, composed of firemen (the generic emergency response team), line mediators, and the people who say "thank you for riding Space Mountain enjoy the rest of your day," has filled the room to the brim, and must make room for more, or so it seems. Their being behind a pane of glass doesn't keep me from noticing that there are very serious glances being shared between the operators. They must have encountered this before, but at the same time look like they are doing their best.
When you are in charge, trying to look like you're doing your best can cause panic among a populace. The king should always save his best option for last, when hopes and expectations are at a minimum and he can look like a real hero for solving an unsolvable problem.
†In the holy year of our Lord 2007, I took a trip to the holiest of holy sites, Disneyland, in Anaheim, California, home of the Mighty Ducks, Angels (in the outfield), and everything Disney or on social security, with a group of addicted associates from the prestigious Morningside Recovery. Our original purpose of spreading the message of sobriety to middle-class families on vacation was lost in favor of experiencing everything Disneyland had to offer. The ones who need the message the most are the ones who won't listen, who needs them anyway, according to A.A. anyway.†
I knew things were going south on the ride to Disneyland when I told everyone, like my uncle had told me years before, we would be close as soon as we saw the famed Matterhorn Mountain eminently displaying its snowy plastic peak. The smallest mountain in the world can be seen for miles and miles in Orange County, vaguely suggesting to those nearby that Disneyland could really be anywhere, and that to live next to Disneyland is like winning the lottery. This time, however, there was no mountainous indicator, and as my eyes evolved from fixation on the mountain to now watching street signs I should have realized that this return to Disneyland would be no such re-experience of my youth: it would be filled with an abundance of referential indicators without substance: constantly nagging me to take part is their purpose, but they know not what they do.
Instead of saying "are we there yet?" over and over addicts say, "I need a fucking cigarette so fucking badly." Therefore, upon parking, the entire van proceeds to light up, cursing and smoking and wondering what was in store for the day. Going down the line of parked cars, one could see that everyone who was not us was a family with a small child. Mini-van, Hybrid, Suburban, 15-seat Dodge van with tinted windows, Suburban, Hybrid, Mini-van. Someone had an astrological lighter which happened to be my sign, and since there is always an abundance of lighters, I got my own personalized Cancer lighter from the Time Being. Words become forbidden and then we feel old when we can use them whenever we want.
"Everyone remember where we parked!" says the jolly-faced overweight counselor who blasted the Rolling Stones all the way to the park. One time I found her birth control pills lying indiscriminately in her car and asked her if I could have some of her gum.
"Oh, I never forget those things, Grace," I said, hoping that the sincerity of my voice would relieve her of having to remember that this was Timon's parking lot, judging by the horribly dusty signs that were probably a result of the recent fires. It was true, wherever my family goes I am always responsible for knowing where we parked. In this case, the recovering addicts probably needed someone to remember for them, but none of them would necessarily trust me because my skills had not been demonstrated yet. Who wants to wander around aimlessly trying to find the car at the end of the day? Not me! Everyone wants to leave when its time to leave.
Trying to plan your trip to Disneyland can be a disaster because everyone's wants change so quickly that insistence on an efficient and effective plan can make you seem like a power-mongering tour guide. Addicts are really good at pushing the boundaries of what they're given, but it must be done intuitively, because planning is not our forte. Upon entering the park there are shops galore, with Disney characters walking around and allowing kids to take pictures of them. There were never any illusions that these characters were real in my young mind, and I always hated to think that the person under the suit was some guy working for minimum wage. You could never tell, but if I had the chance of ripping off his fake head and exposing it to everyone, I probably would have, and then ended up regretting it because there was probably some kid who really thought they were real. They can't kick you out for that can you? Do they reserve the right to refuse service to anyone? I probably would have ripped his head off and started running, and if someone tried to stop me, I would have put the head on myself to see if he knew the difference.
In this world of Disneyland 2007, everything is smaller, people walk slower, and rides are fun for their aesthetics, not their excitement value. Besides, scary rides are dangerous...ly liable.
Not many people know this, but Saint Peter actually became a Saint through his security work with Noah on his Ark. His first order of business was to contract Santa Claus to make the list of all the animals who would go on the Ark. In front of Space Mountain they have the same thing set up, except St. Peter is a paid grunt employee of Disneyland, Santa Claus gets fired because if you're even in the park you're a paying customer, and Noah, upon building his Ark, quit because no one steers an Ark that is aimlessly floating around, waiting for the flood to go away, or for that matter, a computerized roller coaster which runs on a track. Besides, he has other Arks and roller coasters to build. Still, the people waiting in line are actually animals, that much is true, and most of them are penguins, that much is very true.
When you've been around me for a long enough time, you learn to let me alone when I start digressive, random conversations with random people. In this case, when I had the extreme pleasure of asking Saint Peter about the background score for this wonderful attraction, my addict associates knew they did not care from the time I walked up to him, and quickly ran in line so the wait would not be as long.
"I heard a rumor, that Red Hot Chili Peppers did the score for this attraction?"
"Oh, that was last year, we went back to the original Space Mountain theme music."
I wanted to ask him who made that decision, but as I knew that would only expose his sense of powerlessness to himself, I decided against that. If you do not ask, you will not be told.
People walk much slower than usual when they know they're about to be waiting in line for an hour, that is when you can see their most animal nature. Penguins is really the only way to describe it: shifting their weight left and right rhythmically in what is called waddling in the animal kingdom.
"There's someone behind you," says the person who has turned around to talk to his group face to face.
"Hi, thank you," I say, appreciative not of the fact that they're letting me ahead, but of the fact that they're not explaining why I have a right to such things.
Just like I stare at the characters and wonder who is inside the costume, I look at people's shirts and wonder why they wear such shirts. One time I saw a kid at Borders who was wearing this shirt Thom Yorke was wearing and I asked him where he got it, it was such a cool shirt. It said, "No Star Wars," and clearly was attuned to the absolutely disgraceful display that is the Star Wars Trilogy. Those movies may have great special effects and an army of nerd core rappers behind them, but show me one instance when watching Star Wars when you think to yourself: this really pertains to my life: that Darth Vader character is really like my step-father who tries really hard to replace my real dad.
After about a half an hour of waiting, we enter the control room and on the main screen is a camera shot spinning in space with stars becoming more dizzying than clear. The mood is actually not that of a space station anymore, it is distinctly the space mountain control room, but my associates have not seen such things before and are looking at me very expectantly. I say, "if you take really tiny baby steps the line will go faster because you will always be moving forward," and instead of taking my lead I have to demonstrate for them. When it becomes clear that the line is moving really fast for short periods of time and then stopping, my associates start talking.
"Alex, you're holding up the line!"
"Oh, Blair, it really only appears that way, these people will have to wait all the same."
"The people behind you don't complain to you only because they don't know you."
"Oh, Blair, how can we know that? Think about how happy the people in the back of the line will be when for no apparent reason the line jumps significantly as soon as I get on the rocket."
This, "rocket," a name I had found out only due to dreadful circumstances, had a safety bar which clamped down in intervals, and I happened to be of the body width which fell directly in the middle of the intervals. I chose the looser option. As we leave the docking bay, the ride stops. The controller sitting at her computer turns on the microphone and announces over the loudspeaker that there is a problem with the ride. The entire time we are stuck I am watching a party slowly develop in the control room.
The party, composed of firemen (the generic emergency response team), line mediators, and the people who say "thank you for riding Space Mountain enjoy the rest of your day," has filled the room to the brim, and must make room for more, or so it seems. Their being behind a pane of glass doesn't keep me from noticing that there are very serious glances being shared between the operators. They must have encountered this before, but at the same time look like they are doing their best.
When you are in charge, trying to look like you're doing your best can cause panic among a populace. The king should always save his best option for last, when hopes and expectations are at a minimum and he can look like a real hero for solving an unsolvable problem.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Zizek!
I was on www.youtube.com today and came across Slavoj Zizek, indirectly. What I initially wanted to talk about was empty gestures, but we'll see if I get to that.
Yesterday I was smoking a cigarette on a street corner coffee shop and looked out into the street and had a transcendental/horrifying experience. I realized that all this consumption would outrage us if we weren't used to it. We have been told this is normal, so it becomes normal. It is a battle between human nature and human culture, one which is based on a long line of time behind it and one which is adapting to suit our immediate concerns. This explanation of culture is especially true in our postmodern world, and seems to be the direction in which things are pointed. This distinction can be compared to the Muslims who are either twelvers or seveners. Twelvers believe in a savior of mankind to come at the apocalypse while seveners believe that there is a long line of holy men. What many of us have chosen in this society is to live in the moment, so much so that consequences are thrown out of the window.
"Culture, as such, in order to establish itself as normal, or, what appears as normal, involves a whole serious of pathological cuts, distortions, and so on and so on. There is, again, a kind of uneasiness, we are out of joint, not at home. In culture, as such, which means, again, there is no normal culture. Culture, as such, needs to be interpreted." -Zizek from the movie Zizek!
First I will address the nature of pathology in this outlook: pathology is unnoticed by those who are actually experiencing it. This is a very common belief, but what Zizek suggests as a solution or a reaction to the reality/subjectivity of pathology is unique. That is, when confronted with the pathological subject, we come to realize that the causes of such pathology lie in the power of the culture to impose itself upon the individual. The route of escape, here, lies in the act of interpretation, which breaks down the definition of a "normal culture." While culture is a force which imposes itself upon the individual, interpretation is a way of transforming specifically that force into an even greater number of different facets. The temptation of the pathological in this case is that of lacking: lacking interpretation, and consequently being subjected to the experience of the illusory whole. But it is not the act of subjection itself which is pathological in this case, rather, it is the act which immediately precedes this subjection that was see the pathological in action: in the "spooky action" of the establishment of a culture. What I/Zizek means is that culture does not necessarily have to be accepted to exist, but rather that the greater the perversion that exists in the cultural establishment, the more normal it will feel to those experiencing it. Therefore, those of us who have the experience of the absurd will be opposed to those who have the experience of the normal. However, absurdity of experience only grows in the case of someone who goes into a more pathological society than they had previously experienced, meaning that as the experience of the normal gains influence, the absurd does not grow up in opposition to and therefore with it. This is proven by the fact that there is no absolute escape from the influences of a culture, and that even through opposition we cannot overstep our limitations. What can magnify this feeling of the absurd, getting back to my anecdote, is the knowledge we have ingrained in us from our evolution. Here, the normal existence of our current culture is made abnormal by our experience, or, more accurately, our knowledge of the history of culture. We are being told two contradictory things: that this culture is normal, and that culture progresses. Life seems absurd only if we accept the simplicity of it. My final point being that those who have an intimate knowledge of the history of mankind are much more likely to change the modern culture into a non-totalitarian existence, whereas those people who think that we must treat our current experience as unique to our current circumstances, separate from the past, are much more likely to change modern culture into an accepted state of totalitarianism. I will conclude with a point present in the Zizek quote: any culture of any kind must be deceitful in order to establish itself. This effects the populace without them knowing it: exactly how we want it!
Interviewer: "Don't you love it a little bit."
Zizek: "I hate people, I think people are evil."
Yesterday I was smoking a cigarette on a street corner coffee shop and looked out into the street and had a transcendental/horrifying experience. I realized that all this consumption would outrage us if we weren't used to it. We have been told this is normal, so it becomes normal. It is a battle between human nature and human culture, one which is based on a long line of time behind it and one which is adapting to suit our immediate concerns. This explanation of culture is especially true in our postmodern world, and seems to be the direction in which things are pointed. This distinction can be compared to the Muslims who are either twelvers or seveners. Twelvers believe in a savior of mankind to come at the apocalypse while seveners believe that there is a long line of holy men. What many of us have chosen in this society is to live in the moment, so much so that consequences are thrown out of the window.
"Culture, as such, in order to establish itself as normal, or, what appears as normal, involves a whole serious of pathological cuts, distortions, and so on and so on. There is, again, a kind of uneasiness, we are out of joint, not at home. In culture, as such, which means, again, there is no normal culture. Culture, as such, needs to be interpreted." -Zizek from the movie Zizek!
First I will address the nature of pathology in this outlook: pathology is unnoticed by those who are actually experiencing it. This is a very common belief, but what Zizek suggests as a solution or a reaction to the reality/subjectivity of pathology is unique. That is, when confronted with the pathological subject, we come to realize that the causes of such pathology lie in the power of the culture to impose itself upon the individual. The route of escape, here, lies in the act of interpretation, which breaks down the definition of a "normal culture." While culture is a force which imposes itself upon the individual, interpretation is a way of transforming specifically that force into an even greater number of different facets. The temptation of the pathological in this case is that of lacking: lacking interpretation, and consequently being subjected to the experience of the illusory whole. But it is not the act of subjection itself which is pathological in this case, rather, it is the act which immediately precedes this subjection that was see the pathological in action: in the "spooky action" of the establishment of a culture. What I/Zizek means is that culture does not necessarily have to be accepted to exist, but rather that the greater the perversion that exists in the cultural establishment, the more normal it will feel to those experiencing it. Therefore, those of us who have the experience of the absurd will be opposed to those who have the experience of the normal. However, absurdity of experience only grows in the case of someone who goes into a more pathological society than they had previously experienced, meaning that as the experience of the normal gains influence, the absurd does not grow up in opposition to and therefore with it. This is proven by the fact that there is no absolute escape from the influences of a culture, and that even through opposition we cannot overstep our limitations. What can magnify this feeling of the absurd, getting back to my anecdote, is the knowledge we have ingrained in us from our evolution. Here, the normal existence of our current culture is made abnormal by our experience, or, more accurately, our knowledge of the history of culture. We are being told two contradictory things: that this culture is normal, and that culture progresses. Life seems absurd only if we accept the simplicity of it. My final point being that those who have an intimate knowledge of the history of mankind are much more likely to change the modern culture into a non-totalitarian existence, whereas those people who think that we must treat our current experience as unique to our current circumstances, separate from the past, are much more likely to change modern culture into an accepted state of totalitarianism. I will conclude with a point present in the Zizek quote: any culture of any kind must be deceitful in order to establish itself. This effects the populace without them knowing it: exactly how we want it!
Interviewer: "Don't you love it a little bit."
Zizek: "I hate people, I think people are evil."
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