On Being An Amnesiac

Oftentimes I amaze my friends with my stunningly swift or obscure and referential memory (think pointing, not touching). Yet othertimes (usually during a mental breakthrough) I am astounded at the selectiveness of my memory (this includes my need for my mother to repeat instructions for me). Now, this obviously has a lot to do with how much attention was on her speech and how much was on whatever other things I might be doing. However, my question is whether one could develop some scale/graph of attention by storage length of memory or if the mind is too fragmented a place for that sort of thing. In that sense, one might say the mind is selective and developmental, using one's experience to dictate which neuron nets are going to develop. An interesting, yet illusory, empirical exception to these rules of development is in the case of an amnesiac. An amnesiac can reexperience old feelings with the openness and purity of the first time, over and over and over again. Now, the extent to which one can enter that mindstate through sheer will power is another question, a process aided by simply forgetting one is in fact trying to force it, as in refueling. The process of forgetting must be remembered in order for it to work, and it must be an immediately actionable attempt at redirecting attention. In fact, maybe that is what this is all about, finding a sense of comfort with one's self which makes it available for any given circumstance. McGiver's shit. A comfort with one's image may come when one realizes they are just doing the best they can.

The Mission Statement

My intentions for this blog I guess run from writing poety to improving my writing to commenting on social issues or whatever I find interesting in life and the web. Hopefully the "positives" I take from this experience will be beyond the scope I intented or initially put out. Hopefully I continue to update this not with quantity but quality, and over a long period of time. It's like the idea of a time capsule, it's a refinement of memory. This is something I'm a bit obsessive about, being able to integrate my ideas from the past without too much hassle of absolute rebirth. For two reasons this blog is a very selfish act: firstly, it is mostly for me to remember my past thoughts (like a journal) than it is to get readers and acceptance, and, secondly, I have not read very many blogs so I don't really know what should or shouldn't be around (i'll be like an idiot savant of sorts, a pure and untainted mind (as much as possible in this modern age of busy streets)). I might write about dreams I have, but those are pretty personal, I dunno...trying to strike a balance about how much personal information I'd like to share...which has implications for how successful the blog is going to be yes, but it's really something which is taken entry by entry rather than have some rules I have to abide by. I sorta hate the idea of a mission statement, but it seems so necessary? I will end with a question: has anyone ever analyzed the rhetoric of their own speech/text?...and a promise: I will analyze the potential biases of my own blog at some point....