Herman Hesse

(Written in song form in case I make a song with these words.  However, I think that the structure adds to the effectiveness and message of the poem.  This is because the repetition emphasizes the shifting perspective of the lyrics.)

You wrote my life's story for me

Never got the chance to thank me

Never thought to thank yourself

We watched the pitiful beggars

We replaced them with ourselves

Everyone around us turned away

Can't live where awareness is waning

Lies are segregation and perpetuation

Break the cycle

Advance into our quiet independence

We need a New Order

Agreeable and Accessible

Truth is found where no one else goes

I will find you in the deepest meditation

Everyone around us turned away 

Can't live where awareness is waning

Resistance leads your effortless abandon

"Numbness will take you over one day"

"Lies push me away"

Objects are obstacles

Desire and Lacking in Humans and God

Bear with me on this one.  I like it and think it's worth my time and worth posting.  The interesting thing about this entry is that it is heavily influenced by Lacanian psychoanalysis which I have been reading again the last few days.  (All the stuff relating to desire, lacking, and subjectivity.)  The first part is pretty sketchy but I try to make some good points.  If you get bored of the first part scroll down to the numbered points and read from there.

The reason human beings can complete every single simple task in our lives is because evolutionarily we respond to certain needs.  Acts such as moving the Christmas tree out to the trash or opening a door are made possible by the foundation of creation and capabilities.  We create things to use, and even though a dog may be stronger and faster, he cannot use technology which may someday negate his evolutionary advantage.  His hard-earned speed and strength come from a history which is being made into a forgotten prehistory.  Whereas environment has created him, human ingenuity is now creating us.  Cars are operable because you use your hands and feet to control the vehicle.  However, the adherence of all drivers to a moral code controlling each and every one of us is the distinctly human creation which keeps streets safe.  There are two types of control here, and if we put ourselves into the minds of dogs we may gain something.  For the, cars are pure enjoyment.  All the movements of the car seem to them to be completely arbitrary and different.  A dog's favorite thing to do is put his head out of the window, where it is not the visual clarity provided by the movement but the experience of the air pushing into his face.  He longs for the "new" which creates a state of static euphoria.  This is reserved for the specific experience of having his head out of the window.  When called he pulls his head out from the window and I close it.

"What is the point of all this rambling?"

Well, thematically this is about the difference between human and animal consciousness, where humans can be faulty, and what we may learn from the animals.

If we take the example of, say, the Garden of Eden we may be able to say something about man's relationship with God.  In Genesis, God is seen as an all-powerful creator who made man apart from the rest on a day dedicated to man.  (Sunday being apart as well...for God...or God created it for himself.)  God's power is namely as a Creator, and, just like humans, is not in control of the actions chosen by his children.  In our modern American society, our creations (technology) are growing faster and faster leading to less and less control.  The standard of living may be seen as the main ideology which contributes to the ideal of endless growth.  It has been proven in psychological studies the rich people are more often depressed than the meek and humble.  The myth of material objects is Nietzschean in its characterization: humans create needs such as God.  We seem to think that we can know things which are created out of need. There is a fundamental lacking present in this line of thinking.  Need is extremely shifty and thousand-faced which is why it never amounts to a conclusion.  Maybe we can feel like God in the one-sidedness of the nature of creation.  Here is the central point: we can only really know God through his flaws and imperfections.  The authors of the Bible have identified the flaws in themselves as imperfections in Nature, which was that inability of God to know everything.  (This may be the reason why God "doesn't care about you because he controls everything.")  God's most important and perfect act is flawed, so how can we believe we are on the right track?

"But what does this say about the nature of creation?"

1) How fast is creation?

2) Does it know itself?

3) Is it inspired by something greater than oneself?

4) How does one become creative or is one made creative?

Heading for stream-of-consciousness

Below are three thought patters a page long each. I wrote them in a 2 hour sitting at the library which is unusual for me. I hope you enjoy this I'd love feedback.

I compliment myself more than anyone

I compliment myself more than anyone

    A) I compliment myself more than (I compliment) anyone (else).

    B) I compliment myself more than anyone (compliments me).

    C) I compliment myself more than anyone (compliments themselves).

The greatest part is never seen

This is mostly my fault

It would just be too weird and too different

A little rearranging can go a long way.

It's actually quite obvious and juvenile

As soon as I show you the deceptive nature of

Language and Habit

That the multifaceted is nothing more than a few steps & reflections away

It arises out of the language to become

Subjectivity and grammatical subjects

We learned those in Elementary school

But it never has been more clear to me than now

But why do I compliment myself more than anyone?

I could just tell all my friends everything

But even that wouldn't be enough, would it?

Are you your own best critic or reader

Probably so in terms of the significance of it all

But your unconscious remains a mystery to yourself

But why, again?

Am I under ever-under-appreciated

I think that personal gratification and fulfillment

Come in the moment of surprise

When you realize something unknown 

And you think to yourself 

And you know

And you feel

Your unique nature on display

My Fingers Are Slowly Changing Into Pens

If the pen is a weapon why isn't it lethal?

Who can be reached with such ideas?

How does an understanding develop?

These days there is so much going on

People can pick and choose anything that fits or suits them.

What world am I from?

How about a place where people try to see everyone and everything?

Sure, that's nice.

There is no understanding that is not new.

The subconscious is said to be impossible to be experienced

But isn't there some way to prepare it before it does what it does?

Isn't thee a way to see, if not experience, the thing that houses us?

How do you know that you have a deep thought?

There is always an unknown which accompanies something original.

The best way to experience the unconscious (or anything?)

Is to see it as it really is.

How do we touch the unconscious without feeling it?

How do things that lack consciousness have such power?

I suppose this is what causes certain feelings like

Magic; Wonder; Powerlessness; Disjointedness; Inadequacy

Gosh I hope I'm right about this

A pen is a weapon

Might be changed 

A pen is a form of expression we can use to explain the range of feelings we possess

Which means that a pen is an instrument

A pen can be almost anything you know

So don't be surprised if it makes you empowered

We only call it a weapon because it's far enough away from our ordinary experience of it

Don't underestimate the potential of the pen

It will stay static and yet evolve with us/use

A pen is a sooth-sayer which reveals our strengths and inadequacies.

Strength (is earned)/Defiance (is reliant)/Knowledge (is power)

I know exactly who I used to be

I've got my goody's hood on

As if I'm shut off to the world

As if I can't be who you want me to be

As if I can't be bothered

I will return insight and live like it's everything to me

Where most spit cliche and social enforcement

I will robe the way I always do

My home is advanced and thought-out

For others, it's the way it is

For others they live in a home they've been in all along

Nothing Changes

What is the value of honesty?

It is so easy to lose yourself

In arrogance over others

When will you know it?

Arrogance is a by-product of a deeper will to understand

Arrogance is that pesky trap 

Where you return to what you have left

If you sent a message from the other side

Would it be eye-opening?

Would you be the subject?

Even, what got us here?

I don't think habit is near reality

I don't think I share this with many others:

Who we are has nothing to do with what we want

The wants are enforced by people who have never known

The joy of an honest existence

They are so heart-broken that they don't even know it

Reading Letter From The Most Neglected One I Know

Having thought out all the possibilities I turned to write a letter explaining in detail everything that might happen and everything that passes across the bottleneck called my brain.

And when I finished this most personal of letters.

This most deep part of the blandness that is my life.

I was met with confusion and fear to the point that it slowly leaked out being drawn out by the need for someone to understand and explain this letter other than themselves.

My mom showed me a letter from her friend friend which prompted this.