Jokes

Just some jokes its a new format, not a career....

When I was little I asked where my name came from.  My Dad said he named me after Alexander the Great.  When you're little its implied that you don't ask questions about things you don't think you judge that you can't understand so I never pushed him any further and neither did he push himself any further.  For those of you with liberal parents congratulations I will now present you with something you might be familiar with: a dunce cap for asking too many questions.  By the time my other siblings came around I would look through those books every God-fearing-family-oriented couple had which all children loved at least one entry in.  Yea, one of those baby name books which effectively tells us what people who had our name before we ever had them have built up as a reputation which really only re-enforces a child's appreciation for an unknown and inexperienced past of ancestral glory.  I read that my name meant "warrior," go figure.  As a child I was proud to have a name like that, and planned to uphold my duty as a protector of any and all virtues I might dream up or adopt.  I don't know if you know what Otter Pops are but they're frozen popsicles that are flavored, and each flavor has a name.  This is where things get very confusing.  

FLASH FORWARD

"Why are you so defensive, Alex?"

FLASH BACKWARDS

"What would you like?"

"How many grape soda's do you have?"

"Six."

"Okay, I'll have six grape sodas, please."

"Are you sure, son, you don't want to leave some for the others?"

"Yes, they know who to come to if they want some.  Where's the regular Friday cashier?  She gives it to me without sass, and if you refuse well then I might not buy grape soda from you any more."

"I'm new here and I already know that that's a lie, son."

"What are you talking about?  No, I mean, which lie are you talking about because they're all lies."

As you can see, when I was young I was not only a shrewd customer but also assertive, passionate (for grape soda), monetarily opportunistic (if you don't know what that is just think about supply and demand), and a voice of the people.  Incidentally, those are the four essential qualities of my soul which I posted on my match.com profile.  Don't ask any questions, I told you that already!